I had the inclination to listen to one of my old high school mixes the others day, which made me realize that for the last few years, I've learned to underestimate the power of music in moving me. Maybe the surroundings were just right; the vastness of a gathering monsoon, a creosote breeze coming in through the window, and a general world-weariness.
"Occasionally he'll hand the device to Mindy, wanting her opinion, and each time, the experience of music pouring directly against her eardrums - hers alone - is a shock that makes her eyes well up; the privacy of it, the way it transforms her surroundings into a golden montage as if she were looking back on this lark in Africa with Lou from some distant future." - Jennifer Egan
When I first arrived home, my surroundings incited a cacophony of deja vu inside of my body and mind. I'd arrived during the month that signifies the the annual cooling of the paralyzing heat that is Arizona in the summertime. After spending so long in California, a place that held no past (or foreseeable future) for me, at home I felt the echo of my own essence in the earthy smells, the open skies, and the infinite pebbled sweep of the desert. Seeing a person I once loved so deeply and remembering why. Feeling conflicted by the question at hand: to cry or to kiss? I remember a sweetened, light October wind curling around the edges of my face.
Perhaps I am an addict to change. Fall turned to Winter, Winter to Spring, and Spring flowered and wilted into the scorch of Summer. Without a romance turned sour, an apartment to abandon... which transition can I identify with currently? Paralysis becomes me. I am a girl in love, and therefore useless.
via Alyson Provax
